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Relationships are Rewards Not Solutions

Often when we are in a rut or feeling blue, we firmly believe that the solution to most of our problems is a good relationship with someone. This person would love us, care for us, and share happy moments with us. As wonderful as all of this sounds, a relationship with someone is not going to take away your problems or negative feelings, only you can do that. And, if you depend on someone to take away your problems for you, the relationship isn’t going to have a strong foundation and you might quickly find yourself alone once more. As a consequence you may find yourself internalizing these losses as something that is wrong with you, spiraling down your self-confidence and self-esteem. Instead, stop giving others so much control to make you feel better and re assume that control yourself. So many individuals come to my office with the goal of meeting a partner and soon realize that the strategy has nothing to do with finding a mate. Rather we focus on getting their minds and bodies right and soon thereafter somehow, someway they find themselves having met someone. The reward for getting your mind and body right is a relationship, the relationship is not the solution. When you find that your anger, resentment, depression and low self-esteem have gone away, you emit a different light, you hold yourself a bit more confidently, and consequently you attract new people and new opportunities that will fulfill your life for the right reasons.

summer tips

Summer Tips for Healthy Living

The summer time is a great time to kick back and treat your body with some love. We tend to over indulge at the holidays, and then spend the first quarter of the year trying to get on track. But, by now, we are on pace with those goals and ready to enjoy some of the fruits of our goal achievements. Here are 8 tips to make your summer more healthy, fun and relaxed!

1. Stay hydrated. The sun has a great way of increasing your chances of heat exhaustion. You are having a great time and before you know it, hours may have passed, and you haven’t taken a sip of the H20. The summer heat can increase your chances of dehydration, heat exhaustion, and heat stroke- especially because you are consistently sweating to cool off the body. Be sure to replenish your body frequently with water (don’t wait until you are “thirsty”)

2. Watch those “On the go foods.” Summer time is, travel time. Sometimes traveling for camps, sports or that ever exciting yearly family vacation. But, with travel comes “on the go” eating. Make sure when you are eating on the go or fast foods that you opt for something light, fresh and healthy. Think salads, fruit and nuts. Plus, 90% of serotonin is made in your gut. Serotonin is the chemical that makes you happy. Eating fresh and healthy allows the serotonin to distribute through your body better, and low and behold, a happier vacation with the family!

3. Avoid too much sun. Sometimes that summer sun and fun can run you a headache. The sun beating down on your head impacts nerves and tissues, and poof a headache comes to spoil your summer fun. Instead, try staying hydrated, eating light and frequently, avoid direct and long durations of sun exposure, and be cautious of exercising at peak heat hours.

4. Exercise. Staying healthy means exercising. Just be cautious not to overdo it in the high peak sun hours. But we know, it’s no secret, exercise is good for your mind, body and soul. Many of us worked hard since January to kick our bottoms into gear to feel sexy and fit for the summer. Keep that body! The best part, the summer offers you so much opportunity to do outdoor activity. This will make exercising more fun and interesting.

5. Wear sunscreen. Sunscreen protects you from the UV rays of the summer sun. Protecting your skin can protect you from 2nd and 3rd degree burns and cancer. Have fun in the summer sun, but be smart about it.

6. Eat berries. Berries are fresh, healthy, and delicious! Berries have antioxidants and fiber which can aid in prevention of some cancers and keeping your cholesterol low. The evening summer air, strawberries and the beach.

7. Wear sunglasses. Sunglasses protect your eyes, and some sunglasses can block 99% of UV rays. Protect your eyes from serious eye damage like cataracts and even wrinkles just by wearing these cute little accessories.

8. Enjoy and Be Present. One of the most important summer tips is to enjoy the family time. If you have an opportunity to be with friends and family, be present. Unplug, set aside work and set aside negativity. Focus on the small things that life brings to us that provide the biggest value. Enjoy the free things, like sun, love and the ocean. Relax.

im so tired

Why am I So Tired?

I’m too tired! In this life, I know that we are all too tired. But one of the best things that you can do when you are tired is exercise. It is also the last thing we want to do. Getting in a habit of exercising boosts your energy in the immediate and long term. Exercise helps the heart, joints and lungs become stronger and healthier. A healthy heart and lungs will help you become less fatigued when doing other things during the day. On a psychological level, exercise makes you feel good about yourself. Higher confidence in one area of life rubs off into other areas of life. If you are confident in your own skin, chances are you will see more opportunities in life and actually make the jump and try them.

In addition to exercise, drink water. Water helps moisten joints and doesn’t make the body fight through a mild case of dehydration. When the body fights in any manner, it depletes energy that you will need to do other activities, which in turn make you, feel more fatigued. Also, since water moistens joints and helps the discs in your back, you can expect some physical pain to decrease too, allowing more activity and thus an increase in energy and overall life happiness.

Last, but I am sure not least, get rest. Sleeping rejuvenates tissues in the body that make you stronger and more clear minded for the next day. I tell my clients, if you don’t need coffee in the morning, don’t drink it. That is the “traditional” time to drink it, but that doesn’t make it law. Actually, the sugar in milk helps you wake up and a cup of water activities your body’s organs, so, if you can, save that cup of coffee for early afternoon.

Give yourself a boost with a cup of coffee around 1 or 2pm- this is usually the time that the body needs a “pick me up.” And power naps, I am for them. Some people avoid them, but if you can power up through a 10-15 minute nap or mediation half way through the day and then be more successful and positive, do it!
This week’s challenge: beat the fatigue by adding in or increasing the exercise, water, and sleep


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